I'm Here to Apologize, To Her

I am sad to admit that I am guilty of being quite hateful these last few weeks.

Yes, you have heard it right. The sweet Moriah has found herself in a few fights over the past few weeks. I have been the one throwing the punches and being mean to a particular person; who at the moment will stay nameless.

I have been the one to knock this person down a couple of pegs and say mean things to her.

I don’t know why I can’t give her a break, but she has just been getting on my nerves and she just doesn’t seems to be getting her stuff together. It frustrates me.

I will admit, that I have talked down to this person almost every day this week. I have called her names that I wouldn’t typically call other people.

I have put pressure on her to get her life together and I have called her a failure.

I was so aggravated and mad at this person this last few weeks and I couldn't hide it.

I didn’t realize that I was being so mean and hard until yesterday. This particular person told me that she had enough. She said she was tired and that she was trying her hardest. She reminded me that though she has made mistakes and that she is not where she would like to be, that I needed to give her a break and let up.

I still didn’t get it. I felt that she was ungrateful. I was just trying to help her get to where she needed to go. I wouldn’t even listen to what she had to say.

It finally hit home when we were on the light rail and she had an anxiety attack ; and she never has those. I knew then that I was wrong.

This is not who I was called to be. It is not part of my personality to be so pushy and mean and I am ashamed.

It is not who I am to say mean things to people and put them down, because they are not where I think they should be.

No matter what this woman has done, and trust me she has done quite a bit, it is my job to extend true grace and love to her.

She is trying her hardest and she is doing the best she knows how.

I need to practice my kindness on her. I need to stop expecting perfection from her.

My love doesn’t just extended to other people, but to her as well.

So, I want to publicity apologize to this person: Her name is Moriah Scott.

You heard correct. She , is me.

If you are are like me and you have been beating yourself up, because you are not where you would like to be, you don’t have what you want, or you keep making mistakes. Please give yourself a break. Show grace to yourself. If God has grace and patience for you, then why would you operate any differently.

Please forgive yourself and loosen the reigns.

It will all be okay.

Prayer if needed:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please forgive me for not giving myself a break. Help me to forgive myself and to speak live over myself. Remind me that you love me and that you are not mad at me. Remind me that you died to take away my burdens. Everything will be okay, because you are with me.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen

- Moriah